A dream heaven in Violet

She spent half a year in a wild forest, shining sun and strong wind engraved her skin dark and hard. The days of barefoot let her toes dispersive.

Suddenly being in the big city facing the busy, she always pinches herself to make sure if it is in a dream or reality, rather into a unknown reincarnated world. It is impossible to know the time with sun-movements, here does not appear a blue sky and a sun, also no day-time and night-time since the air is polluted and the city light is bright.Seeing stars is very impossible.

The stars used to be her love, guidance.

She can not know what is dream what is reality.

She can not find herself.

What she remembers, only the clear memory of rocks,trees,ocean.

She loses the sensation of true life, has to wear a cover, such as clothes, make-up, fake-smile, like everyone in the city does.

The tan is fading from her body, she starts to try to be a city-girl again little by little.

Then, others will see a whole process of how the society trains the person to be a robot.

We human just have the ability to obedient.

What she can do? Surredering?

No, never.

 

 

Two souls met one night with Music.

They got in-touched with a pureness.

Kiss without alcohol.

I can not tell which soul is lost.

For the LOVE, kisses apeared spontaneously.

Two souls became one, the whole.

God is up there,

He is watching me.

Allow me to recieve the vibration of Love. 

Love is unique.

Love is simple.

It comes and goes.

let it be.

True love apears while we stop thinking.

Love is not an emotioin, not the romantic, not the dependence.

Whenever the soul stops expecting, request, seeking, own, jealousy and fear; the soul purified; no longer to reflect the 'self', TRUE LOVE becomes

 possible.....

Love and beauty exist where without the "self".

我的朋友们，我现在越来越不会打汉字了，就是小e说的，我真的是原始人了。

原始人前几天ＥＦ做了一个英文的演讲，关于头发的历史的话题。被逼无奈，硬着头皮做了一个ＰＰＴ。

讲的效果还不错，竟然坐无虚席，就是那以前我那吓人的头发的照片把同学们给shock了，哈哈！

原始人还是坚持在日记本上写，不过写得都是英文，有时连我自己都不认得，嗨！

懒人，你现在不能懒了吧，因为多了一口人要照顾，呵呵！

不如大家一齐去看看小懒人吧？？？？？？

PS, 这二年在facebook上呆着。

我已经成为了真正的侠客，写日志又回到了远古时代的纸和笔的形式，在深山中是不能指望有网络的，关键是这手指就是不能正确地在键盘上打字。

我觉得我已经成为了真正的侠客，都设想背着一把剑再重出江湖了，呵呵！

我是一个真正的侠客了，学武功成了主业，参访名山中的名师成为主要的旅行行程。

我是那个我想当的侠客了，继续着我的侠客行。

    一阵细雨，驱走了连日来酷暑的高温；也淋走了拥挤的散步的人群，舞蹈的音乐没有了。好静呀！夜光掩映下的松柏树一片澄清．

    野人在从林里生活了半年，举目的太阳，还有风，把她的皮肤雕琢得结实有力。不用穿鞋子的日子，让她的脚趾都懒散的四下展开。。。

突然回到都市里，面对眼前的繁忙，她总是掐自己，是不是梦中，是不是到了另一个未知的，轮回的什么世界。手里摆弄着电话，不知怎么发短信了；电脑几乎成了她的一大难事－－怎么就不会用了呢？Time 成为生活的障碍，，因为总是要去看表，去记住它，在这里，看日出而判断时辰是几乎不可能的事，，因为我们每天被锁在一个个特定的盒子里，这些盒子有时候不向阳，再说这里的天是灰的，有时候看不见，太阳是从哪个方向升起来的。于是早晨，正午和傍晚在这里是含混的，，甚至没有夜晚（城市里的照明太亮了）……

   野人搞不清什么是“现实”，什么是“梦幻”了。。醒时如在恶梦中，而梦时又那么清晰，真切。

   野人找不到自己了，她只记得触摸海水，岩石，树木的强硬的，真实的感受。而在这里，所有的事物，让她失去了感观识别的能力，一切事物都不是第一手的自然生成了，例：皮肤要被衣服包得严实（特定时候还要化妆）；树被剪成固定，同一的形状；房子都是一律高高向天的，方头方脑的；最主要的是没有一个地方，是可以光着脚走路的。。。

    野人肌肤被晒上的黑色在渐渐退去，开始学习简单的技能去适应城市的生活，手开始变得灵活点了，都可能打字了。

   接下来，大家就会看见一个完整的，一个野人被这个社会训练成为“文明人”的全过程。。

   人类就是有“顺应”的特性。没法。surrender 了。。。。。

 

It was a sunny afternoon, I was sitting on a big rock to think of the relationship. The phone was carried on my hands, it was hard to press. At last the message said: we are not as long as friends was past to her. She seemed to understand the meanning, then one word wrote back: yes.

Many times we thought of breaking up, this time was true, we both understood that it has become the end of the mythic relationship.

Suddenly, the liberation came out of my mind, yes, it was time to end.

To recall all of the time we spent as couple or lovers. We were both lonely souls drifting in the world, gave warmth to each other, great understanding through our eyes to contact.

We just could be the form of spirits to connect, could not be as real as human being, if so, must cause problems by dramatic action. We both have our own stage to act drama brightly, it is impossible to act on one same place.

Good to finish, and good to continue to have that hope to each other doing well on our own.

One cup of tea and a quiet music, a peaceful inner space apears.

Meditation is helpful to keep peace. A moment to give up struggling in daily life, drop in the silent inner-space, you feel you are in the peace, there for the skill to keep it longer will be improved. So one day the inner peace will be around you all the time no matter what form takes.

To be happy is a common goal of human being's. It is such that hard to find out by people thought. But when we know just allow the emotions happen to us, then we will realize it is just that simple.

In Buddhism saying: The highest wisdom is not by saying,it is by experiencing.

It is ture, when I want to describle the realization of living,then feel how weak of my speaking words.

Stop talking,just feel it and increase it.

People live for looking for the meaning of life

Whenever they feel unsatisfied they change only because of that

The meaningful life can creat joy, but before you find out, always with suffering

So, joy is after suffering

Changing causes suffering, no changing also causes suffering

One thing doesnot come from suffering,,the joy of inner peace

But on the way to find out the inner peace constructs suffering.

Suffering is necessary till the inner joy comes

one realiston: suffering is existed everywhere, give up struggling, see the joy is after it

we live for many different reasons,,one same reason is making us meaningful in living, then the joy comes after it

I was told by Jamie that I am looking for something that is not existed in the word, the pure love.

Suddenly I am losing myself by that. what am I doing? Who am I? How can I exsit in this world?

Too many questions come out by this realization. I used to be able to find the pure love as I could, now it becomes useless.

I still want to know, because I know something is really perfect that I have seen. That is my imagination of love.I do like to be loved, also I know no one love is better than my imagination of the lover. I have a ideal lover in my mind who has the pure love to me.

I am looking for the love,but whenever I realize the one would become to love me and get closer, I always want to keep this distance not to be very close. I have a weak power to control the thing happen to me, rather go far away from the one who loves me. Then turn to use my imagination to love him. I am a real weaker at all.

I know love is the best thing in the world, but can not believe it would happen to me. It is for others. I love myself, I am selfish.

The weaker,me is confusing right now.....

How nice everything comes to me, I think of something, then it happens to me.

I'd like to be a kid to discover the unknown place. Like now, I am sitting on a top of a hill, looking at the buses and cars are runing on the road down the hill.

 I am aware of staring at the trees with the soft wind blows my arms. The quiet music goes into my ears through the ear-phones, but I am lisening not by ears,by my heart.

 Suddenly I forget where I am and who I am,,the time and place just disappear.

 What brought me here? Why I wanted to clumb the hill where I have not been before?

 I am realizing that the universy is giving me a  memory from my childhood,good childhood, free child hood.

I am starting to recall the rare childhool which gave me a lot of freedom on a hill with plenty trees. Yes, it was a lonely freedom. It seemed like I did not need people, I just could enjoy with the nature,,It was very fun..free thoughts.

 I can not remember when I have started to be a thinker,,I think just since I had started to have memory in Childhood.

Now I know how lucky I am with that thought, how nice the gift was given to me.

 Yes,,now I am 32 years old, famele,no kids, being stranger,sitting on a hill to look over the city,zhuhai. I am a stranger who will still step to explore the universy alone.

    无论什么时候，我向外看，集中力量向外寻找这精神世界的种种，尽管我寻找的是一种孤独的精神之路，它仍然是很大的执著。我执著于向外寻找精神支持。找到了，兴奋，狂奔。总是有累的时候，当回头看时，坐下来歇息时，突然发现，他总是在原来那个地方，慈祥的望着我，带着微笑，无限的爱。我自责于在奔跑的过程中忽略了他的存在。

 

    到底我是个漂泊的孤独的游魂，从东到西，从炎热的夏季，突然又进入寒冬，走过了多少路，路中遇到多少人，碰见多少事？想去记住每一件在每一分钟发生的事，真得是一件很难的事。

    作罢。回想自己三十几年的心路历程，我一直在不停地找，脚步未曾停留在一个地方很长的时间。我一直在不停的找，有的时候都忘记了自己要找什么，只是不肯停下，只是要让自己的脚踏在路途上，甚至要快过别人好多，好多。

    我一直找，一直找，直到找到的那一天，我才突然想起我原来要找的是什么：是要为心找一个安全的家。

    试过不同的方向，和不同的人走在路上，在不同的时间。然后分别，留下痛苦。我不得不分别，那不是我要的。任何事情不能成为我前进的阻碍，我踢倒，再继续前进。再遇到不同的人，再走一段，再分别，再次伤心……

    什么也不能停止我的脚步。多少人劝慰地说：慢下来，这个时代都要跟不上你了。可我还是走，不回头。

    幸运的是，在路上，遇到一个一个的好人，一个一个愿意帮助我的人。我是幸运的，一直是。

    是一次一次的幸运，把我向这最终的“真实”推进，仿佛他们就是我命中注定要推我一把的人，在不同的时间，不同的心理阶段。我感谢他们。

    我感谢所有的一切，因为此时此刻，我相信我找到了我要找的真理＝安住在我的心，享受每一秒钟。

    这一时刻是多么的平静来到？因为它是内心中的平静，以至于我花费了三十年的时候才找到它，可是却如此平静。这就是这真理的所在：永远活在平静中，那么幸福是取之不尽的在这种状态中。这才是最安全的领地，把心放在这里，永远驻在这里。这里是不分时间，空间和地点的。你需要它，它就时时在紧随着你。

    终于，我的心有了家，而且是一个安全的，永久的家。

    这一切来得是多么美好，这么自然，这么随和，这是真正的家。这个家，没有砖瓦；这个家没有别人，只有你。无论何时你体会你的心，它都给你安祥，自在。它不攀缘任何外物，它就是它，它就是永恒。金钱，婚姻，房子，车，不能带你永久的满足，它可以给你，而且永远给你。我说过，它随时跟着你。只是这永恒的平静的心，在你往于争取外物的时候，你体会不到它，感觉不到它，它一直和你在一起。

    东方和西方的文化，在最终极的人生问题上，达到了异常的一致：对生和死的看法。

    你可以死，但心不会死。

    试着去感觉你的心，练习，你渐渐得会发现，在如今一个疯狂的烦躁的世界里，你找到宁静。

    跟着这宁静去看待生死问题，你突然发现“悟”的到来。

    眼前的一切都是虚幻的，只有你的心是真实的，那么为了虚幻的东西去拼命，你自会有答案会如何重新开始我们的生活。

    请善待我们的生活，我们的身体，还有我们的心。。。。。。。

Whenever you go, have to pack before

Whenever I pack, I feel unlimiting sad

The sadness holds my heart, tightly,tightly

 

I drop into the grasping again

Where is me, who I am ? No self,,how can I have sadness

What I lose, what we will get?

 

Forget the time and space

I am just I am ,here, now,,this moment,,,,Packing